Female Friends Flashbacks – or: A Relationship with Steve

Steve is the snappily dressed, Porsche driving tech quarterback. He takes you to exclusive restaurants in walled gardens, orders the drinks and dinner in French, and has a manner that makes the night just seem magical.

But after a month, it gets harder to deal with his quirks. He *ALWAYS* orders the meals and even insists in doing it in French even at an Italian restaurant. He throws out your favorite, ripped jeans because they are natty. The final straw is when he takes you to a spa and pays the hairdresser to cut your hair the way *he* likes it.

You storm out and swear him off. Until after a few lackluster months, maybe a blind date with a Joojoo or even the exotic Book Color, you find Steve again through the iPad.

Things are great, magical even. But then it starts all over. He signs you up for Ping. When you complain about your reception he tells you that it’s your fault because you’re holding it wrong and that everyone’s signal bars do that. The coffee maker vanishes when he swears off external dependencies.

Then comes the day he takes away the orientation-lock switch in favor of a mute switch so you won’t be so loud.

(via James/BOL)